First time for everything

The only time i’ve been on a plane as far as I can remember was when I went to the Philippines with my family back in Grade 11. Tomorrow morning it will be my first time flying alone to Alberta; a province i’ve never been to before. I’ve never been out of my city before without my family besides all those conferences for CFC youth where they were out of or quite a ways from toronto. What makes this is im not going for any CFC youth related activity, Im going by myself to celebrate one of my close sisters 18th birthday as well as spend some time with some people i havent seen in a while which is always a bonus. I think I just really need this time away from home to really try to re-evaluate myself,clear my head and to just relax and have fun in the company of friends I havent seen in a long time. Most especially to spend some time with an amazing sister and bestfriend.Needless to say im pretty excited and maybe if I like it enough I might make Alberta my home one day :)

Plans for this week

  • Catch up and get at least 1 week ahead in my readings
  • Do good in this Job interview im having in 15 mins
  • Finish buying my art supplies
  • Work my butt off in the printmaking room
  • Do my Sculpture assignment
  • Audition for UWHH for OUCH

Sisterhood

Being away from home as really made me appreciate the sisterhood I have back home with my CFC youth Family. I mean I have no problem talking to the brothers that I live with about my problems but there are only some things that girls can understand.  Next week im going to be rushing for a sorority like I did winter term. Its a shame the media negatively portrays it, when in reality is nothing like what is seen on TV or the movies. In fact its the exact opposite. Putting that aside; I love the idea of being part of one. The idea of having sisters to talk to, to confide in and just hang out with along with helping the community. Its kind of similar to what I have back home but in a different setting. Ive always been told that our service doesn’t only have to be in CFC youth but it should be extended to different areas.I hope to extend my service through the work that this sorority has to offer. For me the experience,friendships,sisterhood, and sense of family,  are what I look forward to the most if the opportunity arises.

Lord send me I will Go.

This has been on my mind a lot, where the Lord is sending me and asking me to be. I just recently had a one on one with a fellow sister about my service and my heart, and let me tell you I had a lot to say. Through talking with her I realized many things, one of them is to believe and serve to the best of my abilities in my anointing. My anointing being where I am right now in regards of my schooling and service. I recently stepped up to be the Campus base president for Waterloo, after much praying and discerning since this summer. It’s a pretty big step for me, with this im stepping out of my zone of comfort since it is more challenging being in a post secondary setting, and having to lead without a counterpart, even with this i still feel at peace and confident doing this, not because of my own doing but because I know God is greater than whatever fears or discomfort I may have. Like highschool based I always had a goal for each term, this term being is to simply unite as brothers and sisters in Christ, this being  hopefully one of the stepping stones to a very eventful and fruitful school year. I think the first step into establishing campus base will be simply to unite as CFC youth and get comfortable being in eachothers company, and to build friendships between one another.As much as I am afraid working without a counterpart and anxious of how this are going to turn out, I believe that when the time comes and there are moments when I can’t take care of my brothers and sisters, when I get discouraged or doubtful God will make a way. So what ever direction or path you send me with my service this year Lord, I will Joyfully and Faithfully Go.

Empty me so that I can be filled with you

#Almighty2012

I like being re-assured

I dont know if it’s a bad thing or a good thing but I alway have to be reassured that everything is going to be okay, that i’m doing something right etc. It gives me sense of security when I feel really doubtful in certain situations.

<3 oh how i’ve missed this brother @Helloericcm i look so derp and he’s so beautiful.
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favourite verse

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Someones been working in Mandarin Too long.

Mission ready pt. 2

My Third “Back to Back” was the CFC National Conference, the service I was called to do for this was to be part of the Documentary Team which ranged from taking photos, printing photos, and taking videos. It sounded pretty simple but boy, was I wrong. Never have I felt so tired and exhausted. But regardless this service was so blessed. Just like every service role I always learn something new during this particular event I learned to improve my photography skills and how to work my camera to it’s full potential. It may have been little but it meant a lot when capturing those “Jesus” moments. I never experienced the full effect photos could have especially at events like this one. Not only did my service at the CFC conference teach me new skills but it also placed a two strong desires in my heart. The theme of the conference was centred around Mary, and how strong of a woman she was. Not only was she the mother to God’s son but his first disciple as well, she answered God’s call and trusted in his plan for her. I know I can’t exactly be like Mary but I want to try in my own way, I want to be able to say yes, even when I don’t know what’s ahead or the road that im traveling on seems uncertain. I want to be as loving and selfless as she was, as trusting of God with my life as she was. My desire is to be like Mary. The other desire is to be able to model the holy family in the future, like I said this was my first CFC conference so I didn’t know what to expect. Honestly, I was so inspired by the massive amount of CC’s that were there. It was truly a sight to see, to witness all these Couples worshiping and praying together, some of them with their children as well. It truly was a testimony of Gods plan for the family, being brought together through Christ. The desire is strong indeed, to be able to be in CFC with my future spouse and have our children in the YFC/KFC community as well, all of course if God wills it. 

Lastly getting on to my new notion about being mission ready is to expect unexpected, The most recent call to service I got asked to do is something I definitely didn’t see coming at all. Never would I have thought that I would be serving in the CFC-Youth National Conference. All I can really say about this is even with the multiple responsibilities,stresses, and calls I know beyond this God will show me something so much greater, something- like what happened in all my other calls to serve- I won’t expect. Through this “back to back” and “unexpectedness” i’ve been able to really see the beauty of service and how much it can change even the most hardest of hearts. I’ve been able to feel more content with my life as it is as well as content with who I am. Discovering new talents and learning new skills doesnt hurt either. Even with being unemployed and constantly searching for work with little or no success I realize that if I did have a job i wouldn’t be as open to serving as I am now and be able to experience all the things I have so far. I no longer see my unemployment as a burden but rather a blessing in disguise. This truly is the summer of the Lord; the summer of service.I guess to end this off through being mission ready and saying “Yes”, beyond the stress, complications, exhaustion etc. God reveals so much more than you can ever imagine both big and small.Being mission ready is so much more than being ready serve, it’s about being ready to experience what God has to show you. With this that being said may God be praised.

Mission Ready pt.1

One of the first lessons I learned when I joined the CFC-Youth Community -or YFC as it was called back then. We are all called to serve in whatever way possible no matter how big or small our role. We are called to be ready to answer to the call of service if we are asked to, sometimes last minute. I’ve seen this happen numerous times, especially at camps when the number of participants far exceeds the number of facilitators that can manage. Both brothers and sisters have been called maybe the day before or even the day of to serve on various occasions. Their “yes” to serve, especially last minute when they least expect it is just one of the ideas I have of the concept of being “mission ready”. From personal experience throughout my 4+ years in the community I’ve never been stuck in the predicament where I was asked to serve on the spot. If anything maybe a week or so before but never so rashly or sudden. These past 2 months while i’ve been home i’ve experienced a new sides of being mission ready. One of them is being called back to back.

When I came back from being away from school I was asked to be part of the set design team for this years RYC which I wasn’t really expecting, I mean to be honest there are other brothers and sisters more capable and right for the job. But I accepted it I mean I’ve never turned down service before, and I didnt want to let anyone down so I accepted it. Through set design I re-learned and re-awakened a few things in me. One of them being to love my brothers and sisters, being away for so long really made me feel distant from everyone, and to be quite honest I felt like I didnt have the same drive to care about the brothers and sisters in the community like I used to. Through doing set design, spending countless hours in a basement, painting, cutting, measuring and all that fun stuff I got what I needed. Time. Time to spend and catch up with a few of the people i’ve missed and longed to talk to. Time to share a meal amongst friends family. Time to laugh and time to be still. Time to open myself and heart up again. More importantly time to see Gods love in everyone I worked with and learning how to respond to that love. My service in RYC didnt end at just set design I also got asked to be a runner for the production team, which seemed simple enough. All I had to really do is follow what the stage hands wanted me to do. Most of the time I had to stay on stage and watch from afar. With this service I learned how important my actions are- have been. During one of the worships I saw the members from the last group I facilitated at a camp before I moved chapters as well as two sisters from the highschool I used to lead for CFC-Youth. I was so proud to know they continue to be in the community, so proud to know that I helped in someway or form, that my actions did make a difference wether it was big or small. Now to see them at RYC giving their all to God brought be to my knees in tears, I dont know why but at that moment I felt overwhelemed, because i felt so unworthy to serve or to even be here in this community in the first place.Then I heard Kuya Gelo speaking about how much sisters are worth, that we are worth pursuing, we are worth the best God has to offer, we are worth more than we know. This drove me down to the deep end because everything he was saying, was everything I forgot, but knew was true.I had forgotten what really makes me who I am as a sister, as an individual. I forgot just how much I am worth and what I really deserve.This service truly taught me the importance of my actions and my worth as a sister.

Getting back to my back to back notion about being mission ready shortly after I got asked to be part of a creative for the upcoming family culture. We had one week to pull it off and we had practice every single day. Now I havent danced in quite a while, not since RYC 2 years ago when our Chapter won the dance comp. Once again I got to spend time with brothers and sisters I havent seen in a while. It was nice to re-awaken what I havent done in so long, and to be quite honest I really missed dancing. The only time I really dance is if it’s CFC-Youth related other than that it’s not really something I do. Through this service as simple as it may have been taught me to show my emotion. Im the type of person that won’t show im in pain through my actions but rather through my words. This creative taught me that it’s okay to show im in pain, to be vulnerable to just be quiet and let my actions and body language do the talking for me. Because sometimes how we feel can’t be put into words.  This service has also given me the drive to possibly do dance outside of CFC Youth possibly, we’ll see only God knows. I shall continue on to part 2…

Happy birthday @Fuckcancio!

You’re finally 22! oh man you definitely dont look your age and act like it at all, in a good way of course :) You definately deserve to be happy not just on your special day but everyday. Im really really sorry I couldn’t come to your birthday dinner, trust I wanted to be there! I’ll make it up to you eventually, besides I still have your birthday present! Im so happy that we’re friends, so happy that I dont really know how to put in words- that’s why you’re an english major and im not LOL. Thank you for just being you,being a brother and best friend. You’re one of the most genuine friends that im so blessed to have in my life, even with your little quirks here and there I love you still bro you have no idea. Thank you for taking care of me when I had my little “episodes”, and whenever I slept over.Thank you for all our real talks, even at 4 am in the morning outside  when I should be sleeping cause I have a final the next day.Thank you for being last minute photography model when I procrastinated mad hard on my assignments. Thank you for being someone I can share my heart with and I can count on for knocking some sense into my head when I need it. I guess my biggest thank you is for helping me really learn to love who I am as a person again, for just really showing me the respect and love I deserve. Trust, the next guy im with will have to get your approval most def, haaaayyy! Oh, and I definately can’t wait to move into our house next year, PROJECTT X! Cooking and song cover sessions hayy! Anyways I hope this next year in your life is filled with laughter, love and joy, Happy Birthday David! Miss you !

twenty-four

Pets. Kind of a funny blessing. Growing up I never had a pet, well except for my fish- Rainbow. I always wanted a dog for a pet cause well they looked fun and cuddly which was the most common perception of what a pet should be at the age I was. Being around 6-7 at the time i didnt really understand the responsibility that comes with owning an actual pet. Finally for my 16th birthday my parents decided that I could have a pet. An actual pet. At first I wanted a dog but being older I knew I wouldn’t have that much time to invest in giving it walks and such, also considering the vet bills I decided to go for something smaller. Randomly I decided on a rabbit since i remember back in elementary school a lot of my friends had them. So I found a breeder and bought my little Chester for a fair price of $25. Of course no price can compare to what I learned through being his owner. I kind of had a taste of what it would be like to be a mom, now I know it’s not the same cause well a kid is a kid and a rabbit is a rabbit. But like I said it’s a taste. What I learned:

Financial Stability

Owning a pet is a hella a lot of money, on top of food, there’s vet bills, medication, hygiene products etc. Im estimating I spend around 100-175 each month all together. This is already a struggle with me being unemployed and all, so i’ve had to cut corners a lot and depend on my parents for some of this stuff. I myself can’t imagine having to provide for my future child/Children with no income whatsoever. This really has taught me a lesson in financial stability and the importance of having a decent job to make ends meat to provide for those you care for.

Being Gentle and Staying Calm

Rabbits get startled really easily and i mean really easily. To the point where if you startle them with a loud noise they can die from a heart attack or from breaking their back from shock. My rabbit can be really feisty and will bite either out of curiosity or i guess being territorial especially during this time of year. I’ve learned not react in a forceful or rash manner when he acts this way but in a calm way cause well he’s scared and im pretty sure he doesnt mean to do it most of the time. I guess gentleness comes in especially when doing things he doesnt like doing but have to be done, such as going to the vet and giving him baths. My rabbit reacts more calmly when i talk to him in a soft and gentle voice when he’s scared, especially when im holding him close to me. I guess with my future child/children if God wills it I want to be the same. I want to be gentle, patient and calm. I want to hold them when they’re scared and let them know that their mom is here for them. I want to be patient when they may not be at their best and to be understanding when they act up and handle it in a calm and reasonable manner.

Mothers love

I kind of have an idea of what it feels like when a mother loves her child. With my rabbit im mad attached to him like crazy and if anything were to happen to him i dont know what I would do.Even when he pisses me off and drives me crazy with his biting, scratching and such I still love him. When he gets sick or isn’t acting like himself I get really worried and want to help make him better in any way I can; I always want what’s best for him. I also like spending time with him just sitting in his pen watching him fall asleep on my lap while i stroke him on his head and behind his ears. It makes me happy just being around him and I hope he feels the same way too.Of course it’s not all fun and games, like I said you have to do some things you dont want to but have to. Going to the vet is one of the hardest things I have to do, cause well he’s terrified and not to sound corny or soft but it kinda kills me inside when I see him scared, cause well I love him but I know it’s for his betterment. I know this is only a taste of what im going to experience If i become a mother myself. It may only be a taste but im loving it so far, I cant imagine what the real full experience will feel like :$

Chester; my blessing in disguise. Mama Loves you lots<3